MY STORY

I think now is probably a good time to share with you my story. When I was 9 years old I

prayed the sinner’s prayer with a pastor at my apartment with my mom in the kitchen. However,

I do not think I really understood the essence of what I was doing. I truly believe that I was

misinformed about the whole thing and when I turned 12 I died spiritually. I was in the

backyard when it just felt like the lights just went out inside me. It seemed I changed internally

and never recovered from that downward spiral until I was 21.

There is an age of accountability that is different for every person. I felt no inner change when I

prayed at the age of 9. I never felt dead to God. However when I was in my backyard 3 years

later I remember the day something happened on the inside of me and I became dark inwardly.

My attitude changed towards authority. Little by little I began a downward spiral until I really

wondered if God even existed at all. I was mean and mad. I could turn on the charm when I

needed to but cuss and yell with the best at the drop of a hat. I excelled at school and athletics

but I still had no inner peace like the bible guarantees. It was not until I turned 21 that I could

truly say I came alive again to God.

It was a night in the summer of 1991 that I had an encounter with the God of the bible. I had

earned an academic and athletic scholarship to Mars Hill College. After 3 years away at school

my inner dissatisfaction, hunger and restlessness were at an all time high when. I began

researching topics that were affecting my life like alcoholism and its effects on the family

because of my father.

I studied women’s roles, gender and birth orders. Independent studies such as teenage runaways

and troubled youth filled my course load. It’s amazing how my appetite for peace was laying the

foundation for the material we now use in the clubs. I know what questions I had and can relate

back to these students when I am teaching. I can remember what was going on inside me and

have believed that those similar questions were real inside these students too.

So with so much time invested in my quest for peace and still nothing, I tried one last thing. As

an English major I was required to do a 30 minute oral presentation and 30 page paper on a

literary topic of my own choosing. I chose heroism and its concept in modern day literature. I

think in my harrowing quest for something I found out that what I was really looking for was

someone to look up to. Someone who could point the way out but not do it for me only guide

me. However, I found that antiheroes, the bad guys, in society were the glamorized, popular

heroic choice.

In all my efforts to search for this something that I called peace or truth I was like a dog chasing

his tail. I was as the Apostle Paul said “ever learning but never coming to the knowledge of the

truth.” 2 Timothy 3:7. I was exhausted and ready to transfer schools thinking that a change of

scenery was what I needed. The problem was I had to take me wherever I went. I also considered

attempting to play basketball professionally overseas instead of finishing up my senior year

when I got the answer I was looking for. One night alone at a park I was training for whatever I

was going to do with basketball and school I began to talk out loud to myself. I figured that if no

one else will listen I would. I asked, out loud “ What is there in this world that you can count on?

What is there that loves you unconditionally?” Everything up to this point in my life seemed to

be performance-based love and acceptance. Immediately, this voice that I now know to be the

Holy Spirit spoke these words, “ I Am who you are looking for.”

Instantaneously, I was alarmed, overjoyed, and convicted. Everything sinful I had ever done

seemed to flash before my eyes and I said,” You are not mad about all the things I’ve done?” In

acknowledging my behavior as sinful and accepting His forgiveness I was pardoned. His next

statement to me was “Come on we’ve got work to do.” I accepted His call and was released to

do His will.

Since then I’ve told this story across America in prisons, small colleges, major universities,

churches, and secondary schools as well as foreign soil. I hope it blesses you as well.