This is the difficult message to write, yet as I do I can literally feel the power of God on my hands as I type. It is a strange twist of fate for sure that a mother deprived of a mate who would be called husband, father and friend would find her self attempting to do the impossible…raise a boy or a girl as a man would. You see little boys have needs that differ from little girls. Little boys like bugs and creepy creeping things that a little girl would never dare touch. He would rather stare at the sky and go for a walk in the woods alone near dark just because…when a little girl would rather talk to her imaginary friends at the imaginary tea party. Now I realize some of you would differ with this and say no I was a tomboy. Or I was not effeminate like that! But for the large majority this is how it is. And both little boys and little girls need their fathers. And no matter how hard they try a mother cannot possibly be a father the way a father would, nor should they have to.

 

And why is it that our men have disappeared. I don’t mean to bash anybody because God knows I’m a man and I haven’t vanished and I’m sure as I share this there will be men under the sound of my breath. But for a large portion of our population. Today on Father’s Day they will be doing as I did...wishing mom a Happy Father’s Day. Why, you ask are they doing this because there is no one else around to tell. And because there hasn’t been for some time there is this realization that mom by the grace of God did it all.

 

Last month my mom got both a birthday gift from me and a mother’s day gift. Some years they fall on the same day! And now in the month of June and ironically that is also my own mother’s name –June, it is time to wish her well again.

 

Some men were gone before they got there like my dad. Alcoholism took it’s toll and so my dad is gone. His dad before him was axed out of his picture as well. My grandfather whom I share the same birthday with also in June the 3^rd, succumbed to alcohol and left my grandmother when my dad was 6 and died when he was 9. The stories are tragic no doubt. Other men are killed off either through a nagging wife a loss of confidence, a mistress, or some other failure. Some are there but they too have checked out. Jesus said in the last days men’s hearts would fail them for fear. Not just a heart attack but a spirit of fear. Nobody told the men that God would and could and was willing to give them a spirit of power, love, and a sound disciplined mind. They were just left to their own device to fend for themselves. But, here’s the Truth that can overcome what is already been pointed out to be true. God is there.

 

Yes, you say I know He is because that is who I run to when my little boy or little girl or both needs a daddy and there is no one there. Or, if he is, he, himself is still a little boy. My son needs a man not a playmate. My son needs direction, and a firm stout voice in his life. And I’m tired of trying to fill that void for him. I am not a man, nor am I his father, nor do I want to be. I won’t give up, but I want things to change. I don’t want to run off and find a daddy for him, then where does that leave me. Shortchanged, I guess because while little Johnny got his daddy I didn’t necessarily get my soul mate. I settled because settling is what we do in life right! I mean when you are younger you dream but then reality sets in and you make concessions for it and deal the hand that life dealt you, right? Wrong, I say wrong.

 

Enter the Word of God into your situation. Because God is Spirit and not flesh He can be anything He needs to be. When you realize that He is a very present help in time of need then you start to hope. And when you start to hope then your faith becomes charged and alive. When you step over into faith Heb 11:6 says you begin to please Him. Scripture says when a man or woman’s ways please the Lord He makes even his enemies to be a peace with him. I Cor calls death an enemy. Wasn’t death the enemy that ultimately killed off the daddy to your children. Wasn’t death the culprit who stole your own identity and now they call you mother and father! I know death used alcohol, drugs, divorce, another woman and/or poverty as his tools. But now your ways please the Lord and it’s time to realize that He is a father to the fatherless. A husband to a wife. Isaiah says so. What do you say?

 

It’s been too long for us that we have been afraid to ask God for the things we need. Sure we call out to Him but let’s be specific. “God I know I made a mess of things. I know also it’s not all my fault either but the other person or people won’t can’t or wouldn’t make amends to help me out. But God You will. You said You were my Friend that sticks closer than a brother. Hear me now Lord. Hear my humble prayer. I need you to father this child for me. I need your invisible Presence to manifest visibly somehow someway in these children’s lives. I don’t have to know how You’ll do it. All I need to know is that You will. In Jesus Name Amen. “

 

“There I prayed in Jesus Name I know You had to have heard me. Because He is Your Son and I’m your child. You are The Atate you are The  Father…I am not. I am amai- I am a mother. Please discern this difference for me in and through the lives of those who depend on me for guidance, nurture and care. Please allow me grace in between these two roles. Please make up the gap in our lives, and fill the void that is there like no one else can. Help me not to put undue pressure or strain on anyone who is now attempting to fill that role, and give grace, forgiveness and love to those who are doing the best they can now with what they have to work with. Some do this out of love and some out of obligation. Lord, never let the children know there is a difference, but just let them experience Your Hand and Your Spirit in all of this for me. Please God, do it now!”