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Support and tips for parents of elementary school aged children

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21
Bullying - Part 2
March 21, 2018

Parents, 

I gotta be honest - I'm not on board with the origianl suggested content for this week's message. But I'm no expert on bullying so, I've included it at the end for those of you who are interested. 

What I really want to share with you today is this entertaining video by Brooks Gibbs on bullying that opened my eyes to the nature of bullying.

To sum up: sociologists call bullying "dominance behaviour" - it's some people trying to overpower others.

  • Bullying is an imbalance of power.
  • The bully wants to see you lose and they want to win.
  • Responding in anger doesn't work.
  • The more upset the "victim" gets, the more fun the bully has.
  • We can teach our kids how to be resilient, emotionally strong and mentally tough.

We can let the hateful, mean words of others bounce right off us because we know who we are and we know Who's we are. As children of God, we have value that no one can take away from us no matter how many words they use.

We can explain to our kids that bullying is nothing more than a game about winning and losing and the way they can win is by not getting upset and then the bully will lose.
When people lose, they don't like playing the game so they'll leave you alone.

Don't get upset no matter what they say.
Stay calm and stay kind. Studies have proved when you do this, the bully will have a crisis of conscience and they'll back down.

It's not easy but it can be done with practice.
We can practice not caring what a bully says.
We can practice being kind no matter what a bully says.

I love Brook's use of humour. I've always found good humour, coming from a position of peace and love, goes a long way to ease awkward and even hurtful situations.

If you're kid is old enough, I suggest you watch the video above with them and talk it over. Maybe you can do some role playing. 

If you want to check out more from Brooks Gibbs here's the link to Brooks' YouTube page

Remember you can pray with your kid. You can pray that God will help them remember this video, remember that they are loved and are valuable no matter what anyone says or does. You can pray with them for the bully - asking God to touch the bully's heart and mind. 

We know that people often bully because they're hurting. Hurting people hurt people. Pray with your kid that God will heal the bully. Pray that God will help the bully know that they are loved (because they're a child of God, too!) Pray that God will help us love the bully with God's love and the way God wants us to. Ask God to show you the way, trust that God will, and thank God for that.

I would love to talk this over with you. Feel free to contact me at angiecorobrawn@gmail.com or leave a comment to this blog.


The original suggested content for this week's message is below:

The BIGGEST help we can be as parents is to develop a plan for dealing with a bully. Dealing with a bully is somewhat progressive in nature, so let’s view these in steps.

STEP 1 - Tell the person bullying to STOP and walk away. Saying to them, “Don’t talk to me that way,” and walking away takes away their sense of power.

STEP 2 - Confront the bully. Talk through a basic script that your child can use in confronting. “It’s not OK for you to treat me this way, and I won’t let it happen. If you don’t stop I will tell an adult.”

STEP 3 - It’s time to get an adult involved. If it’s happening at school explain the situation to the teacher, if it’s on the bus speak with the bus driver, if it’s on a sports team talk with the coach, if it’s a neighbor speak with the child’s parents.

STEP 4 - Next you involve that person’s direct supervisor. If the soccer coach doesn’t stop the bullying, it’s time for the league supervisor to get involved. If the school teacher isn’t stepping in, it’s time to speak with a principal.



The biggest assurance you can give your child is that God has equipped them to deal with this. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment."

Memorize this verse with your child so they have the reminder that God has given them the power to deal with a bully.

What about your family? Have you dealt with this already? What worked and what didn’t? We’d love to have your feedback on this issue as we all work together to parent well!

With blessings,
Angie

Filed under: Parenting Children

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